Most women, including me, would say they are skilled multitaskers. In many ways, they’re probably telling the truth but in my reality, that often equates to a lack of focus, especially when the world of social media is awaiting your finger tap. However, when tragedy strikes or we’re in crisis mode, we suddenly have a superhuman, acute ability to become completely absorbed into our own stuff. We become paralyzed and every function leans toward the disease. We’re frozen, mostly out of fear, and we become consumed with whatever mountain appears before us.
I’ve been thinking about this for a few weeks, sparked by a movie Kyle & I decided to watch called “Now You See Me.” The plot follows four magicians coming together to fulfill the revengeful wishes of the son of a famous magician whose tragic death was the fault of others. The movie itself was decent but what I keep thinking about is a recurring line that the magicians said to their audience, challenging them to figure out how they were performing the illusion:
“You’re looking too closely,” they would direct. “You can’t see what we’re doing if you’re too close. Step back.”
Oh, how true this is. In a culture that encourages self-absorption, crisis only exacerbates the need to focus on ourselves. Sure, “finding yourself” is important but that journey alone only leads one place…to you. And no offense, but there is a lot more to this life than, well, you. I know this contradicts most self-help gurus but really, let’s just be honest. When you’re facing a tough situation like cancer, the last thing we need is to spend all our time with ourselves. That just sounds awful–but way too common. Instead, turn your gaze to Jesus. Pursue Him and his heart and I’m almost willing to guarantee that whatever issue you were originally focused on will slowly diminish.
I’m not trying to minimize your situation or convince you it’s not worth caring about. I’m just trying to encourage you against using your ‘mountain’ as an excuse not to see what God is trying to do with you and through you. While I am committed to NOT use my experiences to try and create my theology, I do know that we have a loving God who is ready and willing to use what you give him–regardless of how messy and ugly it might be–and create something so stunning that your life and the lives of those around you are completely transformed.
Every day I wake up with a choice. I can choose to sulk, wallow in self-pity, and wait for someone to come cheer me up. Or I can step back, take a deep breath, and ask Papa, omnipresent yet caring about the smallest detail of my life, what he’d like to do today. The journey towards Papa’s heart is one I take every day. Some days it leads back to my own heart, prompting me to take time to rest with Him but most days it takes me out into the world, interacting with others, allowing myself to be transformed not just by what is happening in my own heart but also what Papa is doing around me in the hearts of those around me.
Relax. Pursue Jesus. Get out of your house, engage with your surroundings, and watch as your struggles slowly subside and you discover that the very thing you’ve been trying to fix is actually the solution someone else has been searching out. God never ordains sickness–that’s what Jesus was for. However, there is an invitation that comes with every struggle to know him like never before and allow him to create beauty from your tears, angst, and frustration.
To conclude, my daily decree:
Today, I choose to let go. While I stand firm in faith, I choose to let go of all that I’m facing in order to see all that God is trying to give me. I choose to allow Him to use me, despite how inadequate I might feel. I will engage in relationships wholeheartedly, pray for empathy for others, and move forward, knowing He that is me is greater than…everything else. Yes.